Children Need Both Parents: Happy Thanksgiving to all on this very important holiday. Many are without their children through these times, which definitely takes its' toll on people, so we decided to have a special episode. Last night on Get Off The Bench we discussed making it through the holidays, had some prayer time, and also shared information from Chrissy Chrzanowski, Pamela Wright, and other participants.
Chrissy Chrzanowski, an adult survivor of Parental Alienation has a parental alienation support website at http://www.parentalienationhurts.com and shares some tips on making it through the holidays without your children.
Pamela Wright, from the Alliance for Single Parents, that assists parents through high-conflict at http://www.allianceforsingleparents.com/ shared some tips about high-conflict court cases and the trying holiday times.
Get Off The Bench Thanksgiving Special Episode
Be sure to continue spreading the word about "Get Off The Bench" which remains the number one talk show about issues relating to family court and government policies over the family.
Now here is a novel approach to advocacy that you can prepare for this week. Lighting Candles Worldwide... How cheap is a candle for you, your family, and your friends. Take out an ad with your local non-profit organization, or one of your choosing, and let your local community know a place that you will be at to light candles on December 18, 2008 (7PM Eastern) for our children and their need to have both parents and extended family members involved in their lives.
From the Lighting Candles Worldwide Website:
Imagine for a moment Lighting Candles World Wide and all at the same time. Imagine your child knowing we are Lighting Candles World Wide just for them.
We have given this a lot of thought and we have come to the conclusion that everyone can light a candle at their home or in their home town at a designated place.
You can be apart of Lighting Candles World Wide to show a united front for the children and their need to have both parents and grandparents in their lives.
We have chosen December 18, 2008 at 7:00 PM Eastern Standard Time (more time zones below) for our first annual Lighting Candles World Wide which is exactly one week before Christmas. This is the hardest time of year for those missing their children, but especially for the children who are missing a parent or grandparents or in some casessiblings and of course their extended family.
Thank you to Three-Sides-To-Every-Story for initiating this simple and effective event that people in every community can enjoy. Just take an ad out this week or next and let people know about it. Work with a church, school, or other non-profit organizatons to bring this issue to the public eye. Be sure to invite press and have a press release ready.
The Great Parental Alienation Debate on Get Off The Bench occurred November 5, 2008. Some of you know that I recently wrote an article on Stand Up Today. The name of the article was "Is It Really Our Exs Fault?" The purpose of the blog article was to demonstrate that blaming our ex-spouses as "evil geniuses masterminding and manipulating" or a "by-product of system dysfunction."
I have claimed repeatedly that the super majority of Parental Alienation is caused by system dysfunction. Some people disagree, but so far all who have joined us on Get Off The Bench on seem to have come to a similar conclusion. Those that disagree slowly are coming around and understanding that their ex-spouses are merely participating in a system that allows parental alienation to exist and encourages two parents to continue fighting against each other for money, children, and property as the final prize. Invites were sent out to numerous leaders and we were joined with a very lively chat board discussing the topic of Parental Alienation.
In addition, we had a surprise guest from Wisconsin. Pamela Wright of the Alliance for Single Parents joined us to discuss Parental Alienation and is quoted as saying... "I think if the system wasn't setup the way that it is that parental alienation would not even by an issue." She comes in around 40 minutes into the show with a thorough discussion on the topic and several other commentators joined us until the end of the show. Her experience and understanding of parental alienation is an invaluable addition to the show.
We also covered differentiating parental alienation from child abuse/neglect as covered by Richard Gardner in 1999. Many people have tried to mesh Parental Alienation as Child Abuse, while Gardner clearly demonstrates that they are separate. We also explored yahoo group behavior and and conformity versus non-conformity in getting to the truth and facts. Sometimes people are following and being encouraged to fight the wrong enemy. See a spiritual lesson for those that share in a similar faith about fighting the wrong enemy below.
You don't want to miss this episode this episode of Get Off The Bench.
We need to respect and protect the parent-child relationship to eliminate parental alienation. The solution is parental rights protection and recognizing that parents are co-equal. Let's work together to make this possible.
Spiritual Lesson Regarding Fighting the Right Enemy.
"For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh. (2 Corinthians 10:3)
Do you know why so many believers are losing the battles in their lives?
They're fighting the wrong enemy!
They've been deceived into believing that just because a person said or did something to hurt them, that person is the one they need to fight.
But they're wrong.
You see, the Bible says we don't wrestle with flesh and blood. And since people are definitely flesh and blood, they're never the source of our problem.
It doesn't matter. If you waste your time fighting So-and-so, your real enemy will get away scot-free.
Who is that real enemy? Look at Ephesians 6:12, "For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places."
The Harvard Law Record, Harvard Law School's Independent Newspaper Since 1946, published an article on their website today titled "Alec Baldwin Takes on Family Law."
There were some talking points in the article that I definitely had to agree with. In fact, Alec Baldwin proposed a new default rule for custody procedings. It makes perfect sense to raise the evidentiary standard and add the presumption listed below to keep petty arguments from ever reaching and congesting our courts.
"He called for a presumption of innocence, and a standard of shared, 50-50 custody - unless a party could prove something fundamentally wrong with the parenting skills of the other."
Can't say I could disagree with that Baldwin's comments there. I would take it as far as they do in other forms of proceedings involving the protection of children which would provide "best efforts for reunification" in the event that a flaw was identified. This would protect the rights of parents to be the caretakers of their own children. Government oversight should be a limited oversight when it comes to our families. If there is a problem, help a family get through the problem. Don't pit parent against parent in an all out war where the children and property of the parties is the prize.
The article goes on with criticizing the judiciary, judges, and attorneys.
Baldwin had no less harsh criticism for judges, whom, Baldwin believed, whether appointed or elected, made decisions based on political pressure. Most of the latitude within the courts, he continued, belonged to powerful law firms. The role of money was powerful in divorce cases, he said, observing that cases were made to drag on much longer than necessary because of the obstacles presented by wealthy couples' lawyers.
To Baldwin, the lack of oversight that ordinary people could exercise over law meant that the legal system looked like "a game two lawyers play ¦if a guy cuts another guy's throat, and he wins, it's a game. Nothing that looks or smells like justice," Baldwin concluded, "walks into an American courtroom anymore."
I would encourage people to go and read the entire article at the HL Record and draw your own conclusions. The important thing is that people are talking about this stuff on a more regular basis and now it is time to begin dismantling an industry that otherwise is encouraging the breakdown of parent-child relationships nationwide. Simply put, parental rights must be respected and protected by all, including judges, legislators, and especially other parents. Children deserve to have the love, care, and affection of both parents.
Lansing, Michigan. Several Michigan State Legislators voiced their positions and willingness to "press the button now" to allow voters the chance to approve a landmark parental rights amendment to the Michigan State Constitution. "Michigan Legislators and Family Rights Organizations from West Virginia, Florida, Ohio, and Michigan were present and in support of House Joint Resolution NN, which is the first of its kind nationwide," according to Lary Holland, Executive Director of Write to Parent, Inc.
Michigan's House Joint Resolution NN in pertinent part: "Parents and Legal Guardians have a natural and fundamental right to direct the care, education, and upbringing of their children. No government action shall burden, abridge, or hinder this natural, fundamental right unless it is in furtherance of a compelling governmental interest and is the least restrictive means of furthering that compelling governmental interest."
More Youtube Videos Will Be Released on Sunday September 28, 2008 so check back soon! Michigan Representative Jack Hoogendyk, Dave Taylor of the Oakland County Friend of the Court Citizen Advisory Committee, Michigan Representative Marty Knollenberg, Michigan Representative Fulton Sheen, Michigan Representative Candidate David C. Irons, Dads and Moms Representative Andrew Thompson, Michigan Representative Kim Meltzer, Michigan Representative John Stahl. Also, stay tuned for video of Alec Baldwin and Parental Alienation.
